Unexpected love at an unexpected time in my life.

It was a muggy Saturday evening when we met on the beach. Me sitting there with my toes dug into the cool, smooth sand, something I often did when the sun began to dip below the horizon each day. I sat with my eyes closed, relying on my other senses to feel the world around me, the scent of the salty sea air filled my nose, and the light ocean breeze blew through my hair and shattered the day’s touch still lingering on me.

In that moment I had reached a sense of serenity, the world drifted away and left just the quiet, the ocean and myself to our devices.

Your arrival interrupted that quiet, your footsteps quiet as they sunk beneath the sand with each step. You commented on how utterly beautiful the sun was at this very moment each day, and how it almost always allowed you to forget what the day had brought from the moment you woke. I hadn’t wanted to be bothered, the day’s influence tiresome at best and my mind was torn in it’s attempt in finding my purpose in life. Pondering the meaning of life? You asked as you seated yourself next to me and looked out into the distance.

I didn’t want to be bothered by idle chat, and I surely wasn’t searching for the knight on the white horse, but company was always welcome and I’ve never been one to dismiss an engaging conversation.

Days turned into weeks, and weeks into months, and most nights we could be found sitting near the waters edge, lost in that serenity each time.

If I had to choose just one moment in time, through an entire lifetime, I couldn’t honestly say I had invested the deepest part of myself into any relationship, whether platonic, or romantic. Perhaps it was my sense of attachment that was lacking, or damaged somehow. But in those moments, I looked forward to those quiet, humid nights watching the sun slowly sink behind the edge of the ocean, our conversations of books long forgotten, and authors that would forever be timeless.

While the anticipation of the night lingered in the air, we found ourselves in a coffee shop discussing dreams of places we’ve yet to visit, I myself always favoring Thailand. You would rest your chin on your folded hands and absorb my words with eagerness and honest interest.

I fell in love with you, an unbridled, transparent love that grew in spite of how I saw myself on the outside; as being not quite right for you…yet you loved me back because of it.

I should have stayed, secured the promise of humid nights, and serene sunsets on the beach. More days of staring back at you as you looked at me longingly, relishing the comfortable silence. I remember you often as I watch the sun go down behind the city streets, when I feel the cool sand between my toes and peace has welcomed me as I sit there. Regret has no place with me now, I don’t give way to the past, but I wonder what could of been had I stayed, and I will always be thankful that you entered my life.