12 Years and counting

I remember when you were so little I could fit you snugly in my lap, as you stared up at me with those big hazel eyes. You were the epitome of innocence in a fragile world ruled with an iron fist and a lack of apologies. I often found myself wondering what the world would hold for you, and where you would fit in. You were a puzzle piece I was carefully considering, but there’s no way to tell the ending, only living life could bring it together. I had always been someone who saw beauty in even the most uninspiring things. Inspiration was everywhere for me and I’d often find myself roaming free, absorbing everything around me. It was as if my eyes were covered with a veil that only allowed to see the beautiful and the good. It’s what I wanted to see, and I ignored the reality of our world. But when you came, the cracks began to appear and the sliver of light shone through and I followed. When the veil slipped away, I began to notice the things I hadn’t wanted to before. Life became so much more precious, more beautiful than I could have ever imagined. I wanted, needed to preserve that for you, to somehow show you that life can be magical if you know where to look, that everything and everyone has a story that deserves to be told and carried on.

YOU BECAME YOUR OWN VERSION OF A SUPERHERO AS THE YEARS PASSED US BY.

You were unique, different from the others, but no two are the same are they? You exhibited such strength as we arrived for yet another doctor’s appointment, because you were often sick from a mere few months of life thus far. There were many moments that I carried the burden of worry as yet another diagnosis was given, but you gave me your strength as I watched carry on and continue to laugh and smile that toothy grin of yours. So hand in hand we walked on and weathered the storm together, me always being in your corner each and every day.

I LOVE YOU MORE THAN THE SUN, THE MOON, AND THE STARS.

I showed you beautiful things, but even more when I knew you needed them most. A blossoming flower in the morning’s sunlight, the peak of the mountain nearby that touched the clouds, the quiet of the forest, and the crickets song. You had peace just then, listening intently afraid to miss the sounds. I wanted to take it all away, the pain, the tears, the static in your mind when you couldn’t get the signal of words quite right. You were my superhero and forever will be, but I wished that I could be yours, that I could magically heal you with just one touch. Twelve years and counting, and I love you more each day I wake. I’m sad when you’re gone, like my heart is now two pieces and you carry that half with you, it’s like an emptiness. I’m not sure I can ever express to you how much you mean to me, and how great my love for you is and continues to grow with each year, but you are the yin to my yang, the quiet to my noise, and I am the calm to the chaos inside your mind.

We will paint the world in vivid colors, and though we may never travel miles, or oceans away to see all the beauty the world has to offer, I will teach you what I know and we will learn together. You are my sun, my moon and my stars, and with them I will never not be happy, or thankful for what the gods have given me in this life.

YOU ARE MY INSPIRATION, ALWAYS AND FOREVER.